Unfortunately, the only shape-shifting alien ever to reach Earth was accidentially killed by John Goodman.

And so, gathered as isolates though oh so ever together around their respective computers, cracked readers again mumble those 3 magic words: "What the fuck"

"Hon, when I said I had a Return of the Jedi fetish, I meant Princess Leia's golden bikini."

IKEA's "Marlon Brando" furniture line brought disappointing first week sales.

Lap dancing apprentices practice on the 'average American body' training dummy before starting the real thing.

PRICES: Enlightenment - one belly rub Handjob - two belly rubs

John McCain without TV make-up

At least it's not anatomically correct...

Comfortable you will be.

People were horrified when Wisconsin decided to open the Ed Gein Museum.

You've heard of "couch potatoes"? This is the "easy-chair sun-dried tomato"!

Yoda underestimated the force of the sun.

Quuuuuaaaaaiiiiidddd...start the reactor...

Ted really hated his new chair because whenever he sat in it a spring would always poke him in the ass.

Only after his ashamed and lustful habit of ogling space creatures' torsos did ObiWan find the shape-shifting JarJar Binks.