Suri was started on the path to Scientology pretty early on.

'Helen Keller day' at preschool

Boy, the new controllers for the Wii suck.

Fisher-Price "My First Gimp"

So i got hammered one night and fucked some legos. who knew?

"We were able to replace the hands and head, but I'm afraid the legs are gone."

Funding is a little tight at Dreamworks these days, so a few corners had to be cut with Antz 2.

And those tubes are to collect the steady flow of her tears and water the grass. What? No, I think it's for her own good. Also, it waters the grass. Which is good.

I told her if she didn't stop crying, I'd give her something to cry about. She just had to push me.

Polly Polyhedra was a star pupil in geometry and math. At dodgeball...not so good.

"Yeah, it was expensive, but every time Katie leaves the yard - ZAP! It's funnier than hell. Well worth the price."

No Grandma, this does NOT look exactly like Optimus Prime!

All your base are belong to her.

No longer satisfied adopting children from third-world countries, Angelina Jolee's focus shifted to Neptune.

The distant Future. The Year 2000.