The male pump is quick and simple, but on the female one you'd be lucky just to find the button. Even then, it takes forever to get going.

In Texas everying is bigger, In Iowa everything is just fucking retarded.

three minutes later, they were fueling around

Pixar was quickly running out of ideas.

Still not as creepy as the toilets painted the same way.

"When I said 'We need Full Service pumps', this isn't what I had in mind at all... but I like the way you think."

Things got really awkward after the breakup.

Regular, diesel, or nag.

Joel knew they had a ton in common, but he just couldn't work up the courage to go talk to her.

The genie laughed as the newlyweds used their last wish on having their love be fueled forver...Man that genie is a dick.

Now that he's getting payed $4.00 a gallon, this year he'll get her something a hell of a lot nicer than pearls for the birthday.'

Long distance relationships never work.

"In Soviet Russia, gas pumps YOU" beat ya to it asshat.

Hank tried the old "Yawn-then-reach-around-and-hold-her-shoulders" trick, but then he remembered he had no arms.

Be careful. She likes credit cards.