After the fact, Sally felt degraded that Rick made her ask for more mayonaise. And now I feel dirty, too. Thanks, Cracked.

Superdawg - Home of the World's Strongest Sausage, as well as the World's most insecure, plain-jane Hot Dog.

"Well, now that I have my mascots, what should I dress them in?" "Hot dog buns, sir?" "Don't be ridiculous. Dress that one up as Tarzan and that one as Paris Hilton."

If your erection lasts for more than 4 hours, or sprouts arms, legs, and a face, call a physician immediately.

Dan was so excited. Finally, a woman who shared his fetish for buns.

"Call me Oscar Fuckin' Meyer, baby! Say my name! Say my name!"

He wouldn't be cocky if he knew she had a footlong last night.

I don't blame him for his bravado. It's hard to feel like much of a man when your girlfriend is a 6-foot weiner.

"To stop those monsters 1-2-3, Here's a fresh new way that's trouble-free, It's got Paul Anka's guarantee... Guarantee void in Tennessee."

" Posture and Say whatever you want Wes...I'm still telling them you have The Clap."

I'm not sure Japan really "got" Rocky, judging by their new adaptation.

Dear Cracked, Please stop taking photos from my wedding album! Thank you, Bunnylefevre

"Anything you can do I can do better...anything I can do better than you..no you can't... yes I can yes I can"

The final moments of any season of American Idol.

somewhere out there, there are two pairs of very lonely balls