Here we see the human baby forming a cocoon of toilet paper, about to enter its pupa stage. In 15 years it will emerge as a horrible acne-ridden creature, and migrate to Hot Topic for sustenance.

I'm sitting next to a mountain of toilet paper and I just crapped my diaper... irony's a mutherfucker

Unfortunately the official from the Guinness Book of world records ran late, seconds later Timmy's undeveloped skull was crushed under the weight of his accomplishment.

"911, what is your emergency?" "Um, there's a baby stuck in a window display." "Ma'am, I don't know if that's an emergency." "They've put him in parachute pants." "We have a unit on the way."

The Church of Scientology today opened its first retail outlet. Expectations high.

Everyone agreed that the animatronic baby with the cotton ball hat and making the "jerk off" motion was both offensive and confusing.

NOBODY puts Baby in a corner window display!

Yeah kid, toilet paper and cotton balls make me want to fondle my nipple too...

Charmin Ultra-Strong Two-Ply is people!

Now I, The Q-Tip, control all the toilet paper in Gothem. And after tomorrow's chili festival I will rule the world-MMWWWAHAHAHAHHA!!!

Sure, the Cottonelle president's son looks happy now, but EVERY one of his birthdays is going to be like this.

So help me, you will stay in there and wear that dunce cap until you are potty trained, young man!

You'd have to eat this many rolls of toilet paper to get the same amount of fiber as you get from one cotton-ball hat!

Eveything was going according to plan...but SUDDENLY, Baby got some self-respect.

Is it really child abuse...if it is also...art?