You know, Alex's Meat was better when they were using real Alex...now it's mostly Alex substitute with Alex flavoring. I hear it's even 12% Brian these days.

With their logos directed at young children, the pedophile waited silently on the other end of the wall, for someone to grab the right sausage. Hint: It's the small shrunken one.

Babies. The other white meat.

Alex's Meat is mostly Play-Doh and dirt, but damn if it isn't the best Play-Doh and dirt meat I've ever tasted.

Some people enjoyed watching Sweeny Todd, but one fan saw a gold mine.

That'll teach you to raise hell at 2AM, you little shit.

Where kids really come from - insert and wait 9 months.

My Bologna has a first name...and so does that one and that one and that one.

Take a guess which one PETA's more upset about.

I mean yeah it tastes awesome. but do you know what parts of the baby they use?

"Child, cow, cow, child, child, child, cow, cow ... this one seems to be made of strawberries. I'll try this one."

By the age of 2, these toddlers already run their own slaughterhouses. What have you accomplished?

"Soylent Green is People!

"Oh I wish I were an Oscar Mayer weiner. That is what I truly want to be."

The "Have You Seen This Child" ads are getting stranger and stranger...