Many don't realize that street bums are an entirely different species. Here we see Hobo Erectus in the pupa stage.

Alright honey, this is enough. The kids are hungry and you've obviously havd no idea where you've been going for the last 100 light years. I'm asking for directions.

The anti-stress toys had been brutally squeezed for the last time. It was time to band together and fight back.

"Curvy Cones: we're putting sexalicious back in road construction"

Everyone had laughed when the Crazy Bones promised revenge. They'd see. They'd all see.

*chirp* beep-beep whlbroop? achxxschnorffflll!! (that totally would've killed on Venus)

"All right Mable, you've had your little "modern art" show...now I want my blow job."

I haven't seen that many butt-plugs in days!

Their World Domination plan was perfect and it began right across the street. If someone would just press that damn crosswalk button.

That was a close one, fellow aliens. I was worried we wouldn't blend into the scenery for a minute there.

"Xorr, you know we explode as soon as someone chants a limerick about our color." "Don't worry, they have nothing that rhymes with that." "Foolish earthlings!"

Those cyclopian jelly-people are takin' our jobs!

Dammit, now I'm hungry for some Cheetos. Thanks a lot, Cracked.

As fate would have it, a giant bowling ball came rolling down the road just as the pins started to cross. Witnesses of the accident say, "Strike!"

All the pawns in chess marched on the city streets today claiming "we're tired of being expendable"