The horrific, wraith-like colossi served as warnings to those crossing the bridge that they were entering the wasteland known as New Jersey.

After utterly crushing all opposition and forcing the tennis world to its knees, the Williams sisters discuss the next target for their rage.

The statues serve as monuments to honor those who died creating the statues.

After their unceremonious downfall from the spotlight, Milli Vanilli's hometown let their statues rust and decay.

Son: "Those monsters turned dad into a bridge" Mom: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

Guy in white t-shirt: "Yup, birds don't come 'round here no more. Somethin's got'em mighty spooked."

"Rusty I told you to stay out of that water!" "But Mom...!" "I told you I am NOT going in after you again!"

Pablo Picasso's 'Bitchfight'.

"Was last night the night the clocks changed?" "I don't know...maybe...OH FUCK!" Daylight Savings Time: Enemy of giant vampires.

"Yo, check out my art shit. I call it 'Two Big-Ass, Rusty Motherfuckers on a Big-Ass Surf Board.'" "Shiiiiit!"

Too much like his wife: overbearing, anatomically incorrect and just plain empty on the inside.

"Yeah, so what if I made these two statues outta my own crap? Who are you to judge me?"

Picture taken before the most amazing and ethereal renditions of "I'm a little teapot" ever seen through human eyes.

Thus, the alien invasion was halted by relatively small creatures, who God, in his infinite wisdom, saw fit to put upon the earth. Yes, men pissing on their legs, caused the aliens to rust solid.

As the statues struggled to keep the top half of the sky up, a clear split was starting to increasingly divide the landscape.