His village destroyed. The one he called "Father" murdered. His girl taken. "Yes," thought Hefty, "this time Gargamel has fucked with the wrong smurf".

Back in the day, everybody was a real man. Fingernails were like iron, hairs were like splinters, and stubble was so fucking hard we had to shave with power tools....

Lars came to realize that grinding metal directly into his eyes actually was more enjoyable than the Grey's Anatomy marathon his girlfriend made him watch the night before.

Axe body spray sales plummeted today when a translation error was discovered on European cans.

"Nailz", the newest member of the blue man group, had a tough exterior and was kind of a dick, but he could play the shit out of a paint drum.

I tried to think of something funny. Really, I did. But this is just too badass. Could you laugh to his face? Or what's left of it?

To many Tattoo's to remove them..pah! He was going to proof them wrong!

Chiseled good looks.

..and this is why they put safety labels on things. Some people really do need to be told "Do not direct sparks at face"

Not all Orks shave before battle. Glagnar took pride.

With the new Gillette mach 250000 you too can shoot sparks all over your goddamn face.

Ironically enough, smoking was way down on the list of things that Hans did that were bad for his health.

Alex was determined to light his cigarette, lighter or no.

Hans clearly didn't have one of those "Carol never wore her safety glasses.." posters in his high school chemistry lab.

Few people are aware of the Blue Man Group's humble beginnings in grunge metal