Enter Sandman. Exit dignity.

You know it's time to run when the beach hobo reaches for more shit to fling.

Sticking it inside a big orange cone does not rank very high on that list of strategies to conceil a boner at the beach.

Rosie O'Donnell should really stay off the beach.

This is why Sandman throws sand in people's eyes, just look at him!

"Well, the little red purse is for more formal occasions... normally, I just keep my crap in this traffic cone."

...new SPF-7000 from Hawaiian Tropic is guaranteed to prevent freckles, sunburn, skin cancer and consensual sex.

His eyes were that of a curious child as he explained to me, "Dith ith my fwog." The story of Georgie, his unconventional views on bread, and how he turned my world upside down...

Fuck you! I'm exfoliating...

If you wanted to sit on this prime spot of the beach, you were going to have to wrestle John for it.

a cry for help

Even on holiday Lou Ferrino can't leave his work at home.

when sex on the beach goes wrong...

"don't get me angey you wouldn't like me when im angry"

Faced with the challenge of conquering wide-open spaces, the zombie horde debated means of becoming less overtly terrifying.