Timmy's parents absolutely forbade masturbation and fireworks. Then one day they died.

Introducing the Fly-Swatter 2000. When you absolutely positively have to kill every fly in the room. Accept no substitutes.

"I'm a level 42 fire mancer"
"Oh, you play world of warcraft?"
"World of what...?"

"Hey, do you think we should put a disclaimer in these books, telling kids Harry Potter isn't a real person?"
"Nah. Kids are smart these days. What's the worst that can happen?"

The demon hounds and their master, the demon cyclops, seize the opportunity to strike, now that their glowing eyes are camouflaged.

IT'S OVER 9000!!

"Good catch, kid. Now throw it back before it explodes."

Having given up on cars, Ford tries its hand at prosthetic limbs. Results weren't surprising.

When Tommy delivers the paper he does so with the style of a true showman.

No Johnny, I said turn on the sprinklers!

most kids sneak up to a door, light a bag of dog shit on fire, ring the door bell and run. Jake decided to step it up a notch.

The true cause of the burning alive monk in vietnam was that he unsuccessfully tried to jump 20 rickshaws.

Lost in translation, the Chinese stage their own production of Lord of the Prance

As an adolescent, Thor often wondered why the other children kept their distance from him.

Billy was always that mean kid who liked to trap the fireflies in jars. As it turns out, they were just biding their time.