Craptions Classics September 21, 2007

Timmy's parents absolutely forbade masturbation and fireworks. Then one day they died.

Jon

Other Craptions

Introducing the Fly-Swatter 2000. When you absolutely positively have to kill every fly in the room. Accept no substitutes.

Freelance_Mercenary

"I'm a level 42 fire mancer"
"Oh, you play world of warcraft?"
"World of what...?"

The Rake

"Hey, do you think we should put a disclaimer in these books, telling kids Harry Potter isn't a real person?"
"Nah. Kids are smart these days. What's the worst that can happen?"

cs5

The demon hounds and their master, the demon cyclops, seize the opportunity to strike, now that their glowing eyes are camouflaged.

Quarren

IT'S OVER 9000!!

Anonymous

"Good catch, kid. Now throw it back before it explodes."

theotherwaldo

Having given up on cars, Ford tries its hand at prosthetic limbs. Results weren't surprising.

edd_d

When Tommy delivers the paper he does so with the style of a true showman.

hermanX

No Johnny, I said turn on the sprinklers!

destroyah

most kids sneak up to a door, light a bag of dog shit on fire, ring the door bell and run. Jake decided to step it up a notch.

facus

The true cause of the burning alive monk in vietnam was that he unsuccessfully tried to jump 20 rickshaws.

mgodnick

Lost in translation, the Chinese stage their own production of Lord of the Prance

darkutuscan

As an adolescent, Thor often wondered why the other children kept their distance from him.

Mason Stormchild

Billy was always that mean kid who liked to trap the fireflies in jars. As it turns out, they were just biding their time.

Do
Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

The Weekly Hit List

Sit back... Relax... We'll do all the work.
Get a weekly update on the best at Cracked. Subscribe now!