"I fear thee, ancient Mariner!
I fear thy skinny hand!
And thou art long, and lank, and brown,
As is the ribbed sea-sand"

"No, look, when I said I wanted a pirate copy..."

Dan was intrigued by the man's outfit, but decided to leave after the man asked "Whooooo lives in a pineapple under the sea?"

'I'm you... from the future... NOT! No kid, I'm a statue. You're just high on crack right now.'

I tell you kid, this place ain't so authentic it's cracked up to be. That place behind us? Not even a real shipwreck.

Each year, at least thirteen tourists die of starvation in their efforts to defeat One-Eyed Steve and be crowned stare-out contest Champion of the Universe.

Soooo.... come here often?

Well blow me down ... or back at my place.

Have you ever been to sea? No sir. Have you ever seen an Old Salt naked?

What's a pirate got when he wakes in the morn?

'A Bonearrr!'

"That sounds cool...and I'll call myself Tennille!"

I've been at sea for months, tell me how did the Sopranos end?

Joey, have you ever been in a Jamaican prison?

It's like looking in a mirror!

Jorge had no problem accepting Shipmate Dan as his father, though he did have a problem dealing with his dads unusual comfort in having birds shit on him all day.