When Ryan constantly left work early to "wet his beak," everyone just assumed he was an alcoholic.

John normally followed the rules. Never let it near bright light and didn't feed it after midnight. But he was curious about never getting it wet.

When Rahul added a hint of Herbal Essence into his bird-cleaning formula, he did not know what to expect.

Tired of 'choking his chicken', Abdul decides to 'water torture his hawk'.

"Wait! That's what bukkake is?"

"Yeah, dude. What did you think it was?"

It is widely known that the iguana, when threatened, can shoot a stream of blood out of its eyes to disorient its attacker.
Less known is that the peregrin falcon has the ability to shoot waterbottles out of his for no apparent reason at all.

A recovered photo from the CIA's less controversial technique, Water-Birding.

O Rly?

After this unfortunate incident, now liquids AND hawks are no longer allowed on airplanes

Americans often tested torture tactics on animals first. Why they chose hawks, no one is really sure.

Dave assumed that vodka would be the best solution for cleaning his russian falcon.

When the bird finally freed itself, it immediately flew to Washington to peck out the eyes of those idiots who insist that water boarding isn't torture.

Shampoo, rinse and repeat.

Cut me Micky. Cut me!

And that's how i lost my eye