It was a trap!

In some seaside areas as much as 20% of young people smoke kraken.

The men smiled as the passed into international waters, the one place where they could be themselves without being judged.

Galadriel had run out of good parting gifts by the time the second fellowship came through Lothlorien.

Jerry, hiding in the corner, knew it was going to be a very long boat ride. For he had forgotten his giant squid, and pretty soon the other guys were going to notice.

The first annual meeting of NAMSLA (The North American Man-Squid Love Association) kicks off with some slow dancing to the soothing sounds of Barry Manilow.

the squid decoy had worked, no one saw the two nukes fly off in the distance

Cthulhu's invasion wasn't as kickass as many people believed it to be

Jim knew his squid was gay when it wouldnt stop staring at his crotch.

"Bring a squid to work" day was an unqualified hit.

While they indeed never ran out of ink, few embraced the bio-fountain-pen movement.

After about the 20th time nobody laughed when Dave said ,"Hey, Peter your tentacles are showing"!

Linus was sure he would win this year; he was the first to sink his teeth in and he had also secretly caramelized his squid.

"Why are they holding us like this?"
"It doesn't matter, we've got them right where we want them."
"What, are you gonna drip water on their feet? You're a fucking moron sometimes, Steve, I hope you know that."

O yeah, you can really smell the ocean, can't you?!?