Paper and scissors have been completely fucked

Thankfully, the rock was still under warranty.

They decided to keep the rock, for sedimentary reasons.

A giant COCK, God! I prayed for a giant COCK.

Well there's your problem!

"oh, it's a rock-ing chair! now i get it."

"well i was sitting on my rock when this couch just came outta nowhere"

You know when you inivted me to your house to get stoned this isn't what I had in mind

Damn!... that chair was 1 day away from retirement.

The blue suede forklift just wasn't up to the job.

Who left the door open last night?

The cause of death was still a mystery

Thankful his arm was not on the arm rest, Old man Joe's porn obsession for once had proven beneficial.

At what point will high definition and surround sound make the experience too real?

The irony here? The rock is stuck between the ground and a soft place.