"Do you have hate here?"
"Yes"

"Do you have hate here?"
"Yes"

"Do you have hate here?"
"No...Wait...Yes"

I'm sorry, son, you'll probably be fighting Arabs. But you can always pretend that they're Jews.

You're suffering from smoke inhalation - been near any large fires lately?

"Are you, or have you ever been, a homosexual!?"

You should see what they drew on the jews that passed out at the party.

"So you're from Germany?"
".....nope"

Lieutenant Goldstein's Hippocratic oath is put to the test.

Young Franz hated going to the doctor; he was deathly afraid of needles.

Ok, now we would like you to strip naked and go into the shower room, don't worry everything will be fine, we just need you to take a nice pleasant shower

It is prophesied that the Antichrist will have a distinguishing birthmark, but none know what it is supposed to look like.

"Nope, you can't join up. Flat feet. Sorry, son."

No matter what a stripper tells you... don't take any advice from draftdodge.com

"Are you registered to vote, boy?"

"Yes."

"With which party?"

"..."

Uncle Jack always claimed that he had stolen his tattoos off a dead Nazi in World War II. No tests ever proved him a liar.

"That's funny... I can't find a heartbeat, just some suspicious ticking."