Marta! Stop. Just stop. Spraying his genitals is not helping.
"Alright, let's get our story straight right now before PETA shows up..."
MTV's new series Pimp my Feline was going well until one the lion's immune systems rejected its microwave oven.
IM IN UR O.R.
EATIN UR TOOLZ
Dicking with Interns #238: "Sir, are you positive it's safe for me to spray lemon juice on the lion's wound before properly tying him down and sedating him?"
"Of course, safest thing in the world"
Shocked, nurse Mendez? That Circle of Life song didn't mention all the blood, tearing and afterbirth involved, did it?
The rest of the team stared at each other in uncomfortable silence as Randy vigorously gave CPR to the lion's ass.
PETA had been trying hard to infiltrate this animal testing lab... too hard, actually. It turned out that everyone in the building was a covert spy, and between them all, they'd murdered 4 lions, 16 baboons and 319 hamsters in four weeks.
If this was Grey's Anatomy you could be sure that one of those doctors was sleeping with the lion.
In a humane alternative to shooting, big-game hunters can now administer a lethal injection to the animal of their choice.
DAMN NEAR KILLD'EM!
Conor, palpate the lion. Davis, check his butt for more lions. Hernandez, suck out the lion fluid.
What Aslan didn't mention was that his "miraculous resurrection" only occurred because one of the secret portals led to the coat room of John Hopkins emergency room.
Will you guys QUIT IT?!!? Im up to my elbows in his shit and all you guys can do is ARGUE!
No, I'm not a vet...But I did stay at a Holiday Inn last night.