"Seriously guys, where the fuck is that ring?"

In the last years of the Third Age of Middle Earth, Sauron bade the Nazgul to search the breadth of the land for the One ring, then he dispatched the lesser-Nazgul to fetch some Moutain-Dew.

"Fuck it," said Tim Burton, "I can make a way better Ghost Rider movie." And he did.

Hey, anybody see an eighty-foot flying serpent? Answers to "Daisy"? Dammit, Dad is gonna flip.

After the Ring was destroyed, the Nazghul tried to stay relevant to the unimpressed humans.

When the Witch-king found out that he couldn't be beaten by any man he joined as many competitions as possible.

Tim had begged his mother to drive him to the convention.

When the Nazguls realized that the forces of good could always hear their horses coming they started to experiment with alternative transportation.

"Take the ring" she said. That's the last time I listen to my wife!

Mark's biggest surprise was not the bicycle; it was the fact that the Nazgul wore tennis shoes and shopped at Target.

the plan was working perfectly, the people were distracted by the giant dragon down the street

Broken Dreams: Before he was The Witch King, he was just a simple boy, growing up in Angmar.

Sauron found donuts to his likeing. They were ring shaped and tasty. Tasty was important.

"I SAID I HAVE TO RIDE A GIRL'S BIKE BECAUSE OF MY CLOAK! STOP LAUGHING IMMORTAL FOOLS!"

Old people are often reluctant to be released back into the wild.