"Tell me where the gunman is, asshole."

"I'm telling you the truth, he's RIGHT THERE!"

I TOLD YOU TO STAY THE FUCK OFF MY LAWN!

"I was just masturbating in a bush."
"That bush was my partner."

Steve WAS right; the ninjas and walking assault-shrubberies really WERE trying to take his crack.

In Russia, weed smokes you.

The decision to replace all of the park's foliage with police marksmen has had a profound impact on crime.

"But he COULD have shot himself in the back of the head if he elbow bent like THIS!"

"err...I don't think CPR works as wellwhen applied to the armpit"
"I'm sorry, does your badge say field medic?"

Hemp Boy and Scuba Ninja take on the Denim Disaster. Will the Spiney Spoon arrive in time to help? Check next week's issue of Super Safety Coucil.

Sure his partner had a reputation for being slow, thorough, and meticulous when it came to searching suspects. Still, he couldn't help but think about transfering to another department when he began to gather moss.

Man-Thing may have been packing heat, but it was the ninja master's mighty Indian Burn that brought down the perp.

Be vewy vewy quiet
I'm huntin' tewwowwists

"Why'd you do it, Private? This is a civilian."
"'Salad Shooter'...'Your ass is grass'...there's only so much a man can take, sir."

Keith Richards proves that in actual fact a Rolling Stone does gather moss, and he'll shoot any bastard who says otherwise

Legend has it that as Chewbacca got older, he liked to dress up like a tree and watch people do it in the park.