It takes a lot of creativity to dodge the draft in North Korea

Wow, think how small the people in the other penguins must be.

"Trust me, Becky. The only way to get them to mate is to lead by example."

Theirs was a passionate and undying love, but come winter, they were forced to part. Karen went on to Law School, just as she'd always wanted, and Larry swam south with the rest of the flock.

Jimmy was gonna get laid tonight... no matter the cost.

"I'm sorry, Mary Jane, but we can't be together. Penguin-Man will always have enemies."

Well aware that that Ken's girlfriend wasn't going to let THIS fetish slide, the penguins pretended to notice an airplane.

"I'm beginning to suspect that Beaky is working with the Humans."

Everyone agreed that Discovery Channel's attempts to replace Steve Irwin were not going well.

'Dammit Marsha, I can't live this lie anymore!"

The return of linux fan?

There, amidst the laughter of his six closest friends, Chung discovered the difference between a $100 costume and a $120 costume.

Life in the zoo was never quite the same after Fred molted and went to join the humans.

The penguins were never the same after the humans killed and hollowed out their giant overlord 'Crispy the Penguin', and wore his skin to taunt them.

"A mini-golf course that's only for Penguins," huh? I'll show them...