Craptions Classics May 01, 2007

With this tactic of psychological warfare the enemy is led to believe that Americans can fire bullets out their asses.

Harry Handstand

Other Craptions

They say if you put your ear up against a sniper's penis, you can hear the ocean.

Senor Taco

And that was pretty much my worst first date ever.


After killing his first enemy soldier, Ted wished his rifle had a longer range.


They were a great team. Steve needed somewhere steady to rest his rifle and Pete liked hugs.

El G

I can't see him yet Sir, but I know he's close.


"The secret to fighting against long-range weapons, gentlemen, is to sneak in too close for those weapons to be effective."


"Don't get wood, don't get wood, don't get wood, don't get wood...."

Heywood J.

Jeff thought he would have been out of the military when he lost his left arm and Larry certainly did after they put a steel plate in his ass. But little did they know they formed the perfect defensive stronghold.


Larry realized every detail of his reaccuring nightmare was coming true.

Brian Jonestown

Sir, I just got some valuable intel from your junk.

Geyser Shitdick

After the public tongue-lashing by the drill sergeant, Private Ericson was determined to prove he was NOT more useless than a piece of furniture.


I remember my dad made me smoke a whole pack of cigarettes when he caught me smoking. I never smoked again. This is why there are no gays in the army.


Jones tried desperately to get his buddy out of there, but it was too late; the ammo clip was upon them.


Hey, who told you turn your head solider? Get back in there. This rifle isn't the only thing that's about to go off.

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