Craptions Classics April 23, 2007

It took a lot of persistance.
It took a lot of courage.
It took a lot of alcohol.
It took him 67 years.

Ed was finally getting a threesome.


Other Craptions

Attn. Residents of the Sunny Valley Nursing Home: Some of your medication has accidentally been replaced with Ecstasy. We regret the inconvenience.

Juan Perez

Some things never change, like Herb offering his locally famous mustache rides after about three whiskey's.

Howie Pheltersnach

Dementia hung in the air like fear at a circus.


"...and made entirely out of marzipan, you say?"
"Yes. Break a piece off, Sheila, it's delicious!"


"See how Mildred looks like a man? No?

How about now?"


The walrus fly trap is the deadliest of predators.

Lord Cownostril

Malcom put it on for a bit of a laugh, but his "Official Breast Inspector" badge had already got him four phone numbers and these three ladies were all but in the bag too.


"And I would've gotten away with it too if it wasn't for you pesky grannies."

Celestial Gold

Mario: 75 years later and still going strong.


If you ruffle it you can still smell me from last night.


"Mary! its like silk! come feel!"


It was unfortunate.
It was tragic.
I logged on five minutes too late.
There's no fucking way I'm going to beat Indolentron's Craption.

I'm going to get drunk now.

Sir Stupid

4 people that are more than likely dead right now. Thank God!


Ask your doctor if Cialis is right for you.

Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

The Weekly Hit List

Sit back... Relax... We'll do all the work.
Get a weekly update on the best at Cracked. Subscribe now!