Steven Seagal was determined to get a 4th wish from the genie

Steven Seagal, Hitler, and a Genie walk into a bar...

This is what happens when you try to divide by zero.

Not knowing that huffing was a gateway drug, Steven Seagal's movie carrier began to go down hill when he found himself moving onto stronger drugs such as mustard-gas-wrestling.

When Satan lights a fart, it's less humorous than expected.

Ashton finally punk'd the wrong mother fucker!

It's a fact that communism was spread by air-born spores.

"...and from that day on, I have never ate Mexican food again."

The atmosphere in the new Club Vesuvius was hazy at best.

"Does somebody smell McDonalds?"

"So", the reporter asked, "Has the taxpayers money been spent responsibly in the war on terror? "Ummmmmmmm", replied the president.

No amount of tough love was going to bring that stripper back.

Ever wonder what a happy release looks like between man and beast? Here you go.....

Dude, what did you eat?

Having tried Napalm, Nuclear weapons and a Diamond coated Hacksaw, Seagal realised his only line of defence against Chuck Norris was to spray a load of red shit and run... taking a hostage on the way.