Craptions Classics April 09, 2007

"...And to demonstrate his utter loyalty to America's first totalitarian regime; on my command, Colonel Jones will now stick a knitting needle all the way through his hand."

blowemup

Other Craptions

The Army felt that since only 2 members of the Fantastic Four were coming to the awards they would only need half a Four.

Deezy

Science Corner: Lasers fired from a married couple can only be deflected by Marines.

Juan Perez

Conductor: OK this time play it with some feeling.
Soldiers: Sir, these are guns.
Conductor: I said play GODAMNIT!

SPAM

'Pong' in High Definition

Schmee

Bob finally had to give up and admit it: he had no idea where he had parked the car.

cern

You know you've made it when you get a red carpet execution.

Butters

The Golden Globes/USO show combination turned out to be a disaster; only 90 feet of red carpet could be afforded, and only Al Gore and Martha Stewart showed up.

CrenTIScO

Ok, ready.......aim.....

pnutt

Ladies and gentlemen, the world's first post-modern film premiere

landlubber

You'll notice this communist propaganda on your Kellogg's cereal box if you look *really* closely.

BritneysWig

NASA's new FlatRockets allowed astronauts to travel to space and back...all without even sitting down.

rikitybridge

French fair fight

hotnsmoken

They thought that they may as well use the spare red carpet, so they laid it along the scenic route

mcalfie

So you see, when two lines intersect, this means they are NOT parallel. Now what do you suppose it means when two TIMELINES intersect?

yuuyuy
Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

The Weekly Hit List

Sit back... Relax... We'll do all the work.
Get a weekly update on the best at Cracked. Subscribe now!