Scripture tells us that on Friday, He died.
On Sunday, He came back.
Scripture left out the parts telling us exactly how much ass He kicked on Saturday.

every april 20th some jolly people get together to re-enact the birth of hitler

It was then that I realized the complications that can come with holding a Pyromaniacs Anonymous meeting.

Despite his fearsome reputation, Emperor Palpatine never could resist the opportunity to use Force lightning to ignite farts.

Party Like It's 1389!

The Lord of the Rings fellowship briefly teamed up with the Star Wars force with the sole purpose of setting fire to the Chronicles of Narnia club's tea party.

In his drunken state Dave misinterpreted what the crowd was saying:

What he thought "Sing deeper you blind Jew!"
Was actually "Grim Reaper behind you!

The Prince was too late. Before he could get the words out of his mouth, Repunzel's hair went up like a Roman Candle.

"Yeah,so that's basically my dream wedding"

Frank laughed when he was told that the chili was spicy here...but he wasn't laughing now.

"I am a beautiful animal. I am a destroyer of worlds. I am Harry fucking Donaldson, Head of Accounting!"

Suprise! Butt sex!

Unfortunately, Satan decided to manifest himself in New Jersey, where his demonic pronouncements, hellfire and sun-blotting evil were brushed aside as kind of amateurish.

So Gandalf can blow smoke ships, big deal. Sauron can blow twenty foot tall fire kanji.

Dude, how long did you leave that hot pocket in the microwave for?