Craptions Classics March 30, 2007

It's shit like this that gives the Chernobyl Farmer's Market a bad name.

Choco Taco

Other Craptions

Ever since Richard hid Edna's body in the garden, the vegetables grow bigger and stranger every year.

I'm Stinky Too

The Elder Gods did eventually return, but it was significantly less dramatic than their press agents had led us to believe it would be.

H.P. Snubcraft

Prospective Playmates have to put up with all sorts of things now that Hugh Hefner has finally gone senile.


Bill and his wife were in a tragic car accident. Bill survived unscathed but his wife was reduced to a vegetative state.

Captain Cupcake

It only takes one abomination of nature to make people overlook what a crappy farmer you are.


From this day onward, waiters around the world would have to ask "Circumsized?" for every order of steamed carrots made.

Buddy Christ

Going from mandrake root salesman to Six Flags mascot isn't a big leap if you know the right people.


After years of research and collecting spare change, Fred finally created the ultimate Pikman.

Sgt. Squirrel

Harry Potter 84: The Curse of the Six Dicked Carrot


Fed up with the "doctors" and their "treatments", Alfred decided to remove the tumor himself.


Put that fucking thing away before it grows balls.


Having perfected the multi-carrot. Joseph could finally die.


H.P. Lovecraft would be proud.

Nathaniel Hawthorne

I wasn't aware that vegetables could inbreed.

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