Modern corpse-wrapping materials give reanimated mummies a spring to their step and a positive outlook. Then they eat your face off, there's no changing that part.

Mr. Rove? You ordered two yes-men last week?

"Are you guys wrapped in plastic?"
"Read the shirts."

As Shelob got older, she had more and more trouble hanging onto her prey.

Bill and Ted weren't sure where they'd be when diarrhea struck, but they knew they'd be dressed appropriately.

Sadly, they never realized that some one had slapped a sign on their backs that read: "...we do enjoy anal"

A testament to glad-wrap's ability to keep in the freshness, friends Michael and Simon, aged 145 and 160, were still going strong.

In Soviet Russia, Saran wraps YOU!

"Why? Because tin-foil hats don't work."

Iron Chef America; Fictional Celebrity Cookoff With Hannibal Lechter! Tonights special: Fresh Self-Steamed human.

Japanese pornos are getting weirder and weirder these days