The historical accuracy of a 30 ft tall Washington repelling the British forces with his testicles has long been debated.

The essay: "What does American Pride mean to you?"
The prize: The new town statue will be based on your essay.
The problem: Exactly one essay was submitted.

"My God, it's full of stars."

The young prince would often move his bowels atop the unsuspecting head of a child, but even more so on the suspecting.

"This is the scariest miniput course I've ever been to"

No sir, I don't LIKE it.

"Whoever shall gaze upon thy testicals, is turned to stone and henceforth must uphold this gaze for the rest of eternity"

-Saint Markus, patron saint of indecent exposure.

Why mister look how tall you are! All the better to hover over you my children. Why mist what massive testes you have! All the better to tea bag you with!

Yep he shit himself alright!

Washington, Washington
10 feet tall, weighs a fucking ton!

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