Blackbeard not only read palms, he corrected them.

"You've got your mustache under your eye -- it goes under your nose. Look say this is your nose here..."

Some people will gladly accept the hand of friendship. A true pirate simply writes profanities on it.

Erik The pirate laughed as he injected the kids with heroin

It was little known that pirates were the original inventors of the term 'handjob'. Unfortunately, it's true meaning was blurred and lost over time.

Everything about John’s pirate costume was authentic, from the hat and bandana to the wrist brace he wore to help prevent carpal tunnel.

After he lost the Black Pearl, Jack Sparrow had to do a few birthday parties to get back on his feet

"You're not with NBC Dateline, are you?"

It was only after a trip to the library that the children realized what a "black spot" on their hand meant.

Here we see Capt Bligh in his early years demonstrating his attitude problem by intentionally mis-interpreting his teacher's request that he "get together with the students and work on his handwriting."

"Downtown Hilton Hotel room 705" FREE candy!

Mary stared Sarah down. She would gladly give her another black eye if she pushed infront again.

Instead of candy this Halloween, we passed out stigmata.

A carefully concealed fact about the notorious swashbuckler, as evinced here, is that Hook actually lost his hand to carpal tunnel syndrome.

are you my mummy