After the first 19 died, it was decided that linebackers were not allowed to think anymore. It was just safer for everyone involved.

At first, Rodney had thought his own personal atmosphere would be great, but the constant stormclouds soon proved more annoying than entertaining.

While lasers would have been preferable, Jamal made the best of his ability to shoot fog out of his eyes.

Hiding the joint in his ear suddenly appeared to be a bad idea

"I don't trust these new helmets. They don't feel sturdy enough."

I like my coffee like I like my men: Black, steamy and signed to a 15 million dollar contract.

If you're black and corporate fatcats try to do cocaine off your forehead,
sneeze.

While the Jets' new strategy of firing actual jet-propelled rockets out of their foreheads did in fact constitute murder, the ref let it slide for cleverness.

After the smoke cleared, Richard Simmons realized that something was very...very different.

And in a puff of smoke, the genie... just sorta stayed there.

Jaguars beat the Jets so badly that clouds LITERALLY began to hang over players heads.

After smashing New York, the linebacker's brain overheated trying to decide who was next.

WARNING!WARNING!EVACUATE! NUCLEAR MELTDOWN IN 10,9,8,7...