"In his homeland He was a king- but I bring him before you in chains!"

The Literacy Bear would regret going to Alabama.

Worst. Parade. Ever.

Phillip gazed at the bear with forlorn lust. The tape said "CAUTION", but his eyes said "yes".

Due to stricter MPAA ratings guidelines, Optimus Prime had to be made more "accessible to young children" in the new Transformers movie.

Frank remained frozen in place. How could he have been so stupid to step on the square landmine? He could do nothing but stand there while his arch-nemesis Snuggles rode off with the ancient cube-treaures.

By the time the Macy's day parade hit Harlem, it had lost some of it's pinache'.

Say there, fellow in the reflective vest! You haven't seen three crazy giant dachshunds wearing chef hats around here, have you?

After his parents' divorce, Kevin's playtime became increasingly morbid.

Michael Jackson watched on with sadness as the IRS repossessed Neverland... they even took the light out of his street pavement.

The surprise was ruined. Richard just happened to arrive home just when his Christmas present was being delivered.

I, for one, WELCOME our giant bear overloards.

"OK, cabbie. Bear left at the next intersection."

Michael Richards' dreams have finally come true!

Gigantic gummy bears now come in a new, exciting flavor.. lead!