Craptions Classics December 03, 2006

Brandon's attempt to summon a portal to Hell failed, but a portal to Nashville wasn't a bad consolation prize.

Haschel Cedricson

Other Craptions

"I'll teach you to pawn our last amp for a bunch of goddamn picks, you retard!" Jack's mother said furiously as she threw them out the window, sending him to bed without supper.

Next morning...

Empty can

Contrary to popular belief, the birth of Rock and Roll was a very literal event.


Nobody is quite sure where the instruments come from, but Old Fender is generally agreed to be the coolest geyser in America.

John Who

This is believed to be the spot where Jimi Hendrix ascended into Heaven.


"Contrary to popular belief, gravity does whatever the hell it feels like."


"Choose wisely, for as the true guitar will bring you rock, the false guitar will take it from you."

USB animl

"Alright, as a level 7 music-user, your 'Cone of Guitars' spell deals 4d8 damage."


George marveled proudly at his tower of rock.
Then he saw the keyboard.


An unlocked door, a long weekend and 700 gallons of wood glue were all that Ted needed to get his revenge on the music department.


Kevin Federline's new album was so terrible it caused a quantum singularity to form. Luckily there was a enough good music around to plug it.

Mr K

In the center of the vortex sits a contemplative David Bowie, pondering the curvature of the universe.


The long-awaited sequel to Guitar Hero is being released for the XBox 360. However, the controller is going to be modified somewhat to meet XBox Standards.


"You can't stop rock and roll."


Kevin showed off his science project of a bunch of dolls lezzin' out. The teacher was jealous, his doll collection was nearly as big.

Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

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