"Racoon. Corner pocket"

This particular species is rapidly declining in numbers due to a need to mate with buildings

"All right, that looks like a size 3. Come back Tuesday. I'll try to have your hat ready by then."

Guido knew it was a warning from the boss of bosses, the capo de tutti. He just didn't know what the hell they were warning him about...

9/11 conspiracy theorists attempt to recreate the newly suggested "Raccoon Theory."

It seems Hachi was drinking and flying again.

Seeing eye raccoons are more trouble than they're worth.

"Finally hunting activists thought of a clever protest they could stage in front of PETA's headquarters in response to numerous paint throwing incidents."

"Don't try to help me, Doug," said Rascal solemnly. "This climb is something I have to do by myself."

looking back on it, Sly Cooper the Movie was actually pretty gay

The general consensus was that God succeeded in making flying squirrels, but not so much in making flying raccoons.

"It didn't have to end that way," Bulwinkle recalled. "he could have joined me in retirement."

Bell Canada employee rescues Frank from over billed Canukians.

Well now its time to say good by to Jed and all his kin.
And they would like to thank you folks fer kindly droppin in.
You're all invited back a gain to this locality
To have a heapin helpin of their hospitality

"you'll hang for this you goddamn coon!" was the last thing Officer Skip "Skippy" Bukowski ever said at Temple University.