H-O-S-E. I asked for the fire HOSE.

Dear Cracked: In order to submit my best Craption, I will need the link to the source material. For...um...research.

Victoria's secret - she's an arsonist.

Oh sure, HERE it's art! Stored on my hard drive in a carefully hidden folder with about 1,567 similar images and it's "I think we should get a divorce."

Wow, it really HAS been a long time since I've been to church!

The Boy Scout in me says I should be rubbing two sticks together, but for now, one will have to do....

There is no escape... and that's okay.

This is officially the sexiest how to make smores demonstration EVER.

Minutes later they found explaining this at the Emergency Room almost impossible.

The slightest mis-step could turn this Porno for Pyros into a Flaming Lips show.

Micheal Bay sure know's how to throw a sweet sixtee--- sweet eighteen party!

What REALLY happens at school on Teacher’s Day would surprise you.

You say "Branded by Whores" as if it were a bad thing...

They call themselves "The Third Degree", because that's exactly what you'll be getting from your wife when you get home covered in body glitter and scorch marks.

And Chanukah steals 1st place from christmas for "best religious holiday"