"And when it stood upright, everyone realized the 2nd gunman WAS the Grassy Knoll!"

I fought the lawn and the lawn won.

Nope - still not the proper use of a comma

Even the tumbleweeds in Los Angeles are hipsters.

"I didn't use a name brand weed killer, and now look at the son of a bitch."

Previously, On Lost...

My girlfriend made this really great comma, but you don't want to see her period.

"Soooooo....when can we smoke it, Dave?"

5 minutes later, John Deere surrendered.

It was inevitable. The mullet would become self aware, hop off the head, and grow 15 feet tall.

That's the last time I let Ace Ventura trim my hedges.

Comma Sutra

Mothra didn't like to talk about his teenage cousin.

Take me to your gardener.

"Miracle Grow's a hell of a drug."