"Hello, this is Poseidon, GOD OF THE SEA! ...yes, I'll hold."

"Hey Zeus, it's Poseidon. I just got your e-mail. Aren't these smart phones great? Tell Hermes he's out of a job."

"Hi Verizon, it's Neptune again. This iPhone fell into the water too, can you send me a new one?"

That's right. 32 orders of ribs, with fries and salad. No, it's Ok. I've got a fork.

Unsurprisingly, he still lives in his parents' aquarium.

No...no, I didn't get the role. Apparently it's about some stupid ship capsizing.

Damnit, Sebastian. I can't understand you when you're drunk.

"Hey, if you put this to your ear you can hear the city!"

It's either a guy who's late for a costume party, or a deranged homeless guy talking into a Hershey bar he found on the street.

After New Orleans was flooded, the drag queens got creative with their costumes

"My dentist recommended that I chew on trident after meals, but it totally cut up my mouth and really fucking hurt."

He looks like Neptune, but he smells like Uranus

"Yes honey, while I'm at the store, I'll pick up some Tide. Ha Ha Like that never gets funny."

Mom, I think I'm being down voted. They don't like my costume. Can I come home now?

It started with a few small adjustments to his Burger King crown. But then Thomas got carried away.