"I promise honey, I will spend more time with the kids"

Somewhere, there's three homeless goldfish.

"Hello neighboring family unit. We just moved in to the housing construct adjacent to yours. As custom we offer you this delicious fruit cake.... Do not fear us."

That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for future therapists.

Daddy, what's an O face?

"...Actually, we're Methodists."

"Are you ready to visit Mars, son?" "Dad I don't think this is going to work!" "Shut up son, and go dump the baking soda into the vinegar tank."

With their biohazard suits firmed sealed in place, everyone got set to enjoy the Amy Winehouse concert.

Jokes on us when they survive the Apocalypse.

1980,as envisioned by 1950.

"Now that we all have on our best suits, let's go find you two a new mommy."

They should never have let M. Night Shymalan near the Twilight Zone remake.

"Hey dad?" "Yes son?" "Why do people make fun of us at school?" "Because we're unique son. Very unique."

In the 50's, auto-erotic-asphyxiation was just... Different.

I miss Bill Nye.