I don't know what the fuck this is, but America had better build a bigger one, and fast.

"You can't find your little boy? Well of course you can look around anywhere you like! But not in here. He probably isn't in here."

"No. Is washing machine. Really. You get in, you get washed. Washing machine!"

"Vitaly, as best student, you will have honor of going into space for entire class. DO NOT CRY! You must show space no weakness! Now, please put on suit and come forward..."

R2D2 discovered the hard way that he's allergic to bee stings.

Shit, I just locked my keys inside.

What? "Answer unclear, ask again later"?

“What the fuck do you mean THIS will act as my kidneys for the rest of my life?”

Mr. Gorbachev, melt down this ball!

Is not bomb. Am happy to see you.

"Is not vut it look like!" Boris shouted with embarrassment, but she could clearly see the Sputnik on his hand.

"Now if you're anything like me, you're wondering, "Bill, what if that hole isn't big enough for my penis?"

On your Marx... get set...

Hot tub time machine, soviet edition.

"How much do you think Pawn Stars will give me for this thing?"