Somewhere in town is a rival coffee shop, paying this man to stand there.

Is that a menu or a list of safe words?

Carl allowed himself one treat every week. He sort of made a big deal out of it.

Hey Mom? Yeah, I have good news and bad news. The good news is, I've found Dad...

Never have my Confusion, Rage and Erection been so on par with each other.

This place doesn't serve any transfat. But they do serve fat trannies.

Please donate your used and wanted clothes to the Salvation Army today. As you can plainly see, we are running out of shit to clothe the homeless with.

"I'll take one tofu dog, please. No bun."

Her Milk Shakes bring EVERYTHING to the yard.

We need a mascot for our juice bar. Something that kids'll like, but still has sex appeal...

Yes, that is a Help Wanted sign but, uh...

Jake froze in mid stride. He'd never believed in love at first sight, but now -- finally -- it had happened to him.

"Why can't anybody love me for ME?"

The year is 2053. After many successive generations of outdoing one another, hipsters have reached the GaGa apex. God save us. God save us all.

This reminds me of my favorite Norman Rockwell painting.