India, having difficulties with its space program, decides to orbit the planet on land.

Shipping Rosie O'Donnell's custom vibrator was quite an ordeal.

It turns out that a communist agenda was the true function of Conjunction Junction.

Check off 'Fly Train to Moon' on NASA's list of "Shit we can do for the hell of it."

It reached the tunnel, and my Innuendometer finally exploded the fuck up.

"Where we're going we don't need rails..."

Some Transformers are hard to spot when in disguise. Others are sort of attention-hogs.

Clearly, things have escalated since yesterday...

The little engine that could? Fuck that. Here's the little engine that DID.

The failure of the Alabama space program was caused by their inability to understand the concept of "up".

We're gonna make damn sure that THIS is the last train to Clarksville.

The Polaris Express

Denzel Washington and Chris Pine in... Unstoppabler.

It’s the world’s only intercontinental ballistic railroad.

Pay attention, terrorists. We're goin' old school.