Craptions Classics July 05, 2006

Hey, I found another one!

Linux fan

Other Craptions

"Look, I don't care how you did it at your old job. Here we put them in one at a time."

Xyraxian

Even though they were now without cattle, Peggy and Margaret had to admit - that thing with the giant meat grinder WAS pretty funny.

Senor Taco

"QUICK, save as many as you can...five second rule, FIVE SECOND RULE!!!"

[Strider]

In the future, the Third World hunger problems were resolved by micronizing poor people. Now they eat less and make a living as carpet cleaners.

Twoducks

It had cost the lives of nearly 50 people, but the giant Elmo was nearly complete.

Lance Awesome

Contrary to popular belief, the domestic "red shag" carpet mite (sp. Eriophye punjabious)was also created in gods image.

MikeFortney

"Red...Red...Red...dammit, another Scarlet. You know Mildred, I'm starting to think Crayon Quality Control's not the career path for me."

Taser

Matilda and Helga searched tirelessly for the prophesized Green pepper

Surfurdude

At McDonald's, we use only the freshest, highest quality meat, hand-picked by our meat experts.

Lenkrad mit Fusspedalen

When "five loads of red and two Kurdish" appeard, the disciples knew Jesus' was getting deaf.

a1kemi

Damnit, its my favorite lipstick. Just keep looking!

7THSON

Yo mama's so dumb, she heard it was chilly outside and...oh. Never mind.

Mr. Bad Example

"Hoola I believe your discertation on the economic factors faced by colonial governors circa the 1670-1690 is wildy off base. You haven't taken the ramification of political instability to regional conflicts."

"Oh look. A red pepper.

CP2020

Woman 1: ....and what about computer programmers?
Woman 2: I know, geez.
Woman 1: I mean, all they do is stare at a screen all day and type code.
Woman 2: Yeah, so boring!

Tardner
Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

The Weekly Hit List

Sit back... Relax... We'll do all the work.
Get a weekly update on the best at Cracked. Subscribe now!