It is literally impossible for white people to have child services take away their children.

Then Chris Hansen stepped out, and the gator knew he was going to prison for a loooong time.

"See ya later Alligator!...After while Pedophile!!!"

A young Paris Hilton meets her future shoes and handbag collection.

Mom suggested taking karate to discourage bullies. Dad had a different plan.

"Now pumpkin, you have to eat the WHOLE heart to gain its power."

If she was truly a little lady, she'd ride sidesaddle.

"Mommy, this ride is lame. I liked the Tiger better."

"...and I will name him George and I will love him and pet him and squeeze him and OOOOOW! BAD GEORGE!"

In Cajun country, this is referred to as "Playing with your food".

Can you spot 14 things wrong with this picture? If you can't the FBI wants to talk with you.

"Give. Me. Back. Mr. Fluffy you scaly bastard you!!"

Little Tiffany lasted longer than any of the other children that day at 3 minutes and 12 seconds.

"Yeah..... Well what did YOU get for Christmas?"

"Daddy! I keep putting quarters in, but it still doesn't move!"