"We're here to adopt."

"Thanks, eHarmony!"

The chains filter out the worst of the poisons. The monocle's just for class.

Nothing beats a rousing game of "Frighten The Homeless".

Being born into a nuclear family is not the advantage you'd think.

"Bondage... James Bondage."

I think the new neighbors are from Europe.

SyFy has the strangest pornos.

You think that's weird? You should see where that mask is attached to.

These characters belong in a video game. And that video game belongs in the trash.

Everybody has that one friend they keep around JUST in case society DOES collapse.

"...and 9 months later, you were born."

The Toxic Avenger gets a sexy new side-kick!

Excuse me, is that Grey Poupon mustard gas?

"Eye ham sofa king we tall did...with my other eye now? Why is she laughing?"