"We're here to adopt."

"Thanks, eHarmony!"

The chains filter out the worst of the poisons. The monocle's just for class.

Nothing beats a rousing game of "Frighten The Homeless".

Being born into a nuclear family is not the advantage you'd think.

"Bondage... James Bondage."

I think the new neighbors are from Europe.

SyFy has the strangest pornos.

You think that's weird? You should see where that mask is attached to.

These characters belong in a video game. And that video game belongs in the trash.

Everybody has that one friend they keep around JUST in case society DOES collapse.

Excuse me, is that Grey Poupon mustard gas?

The Toxic Avenger gets a sexy new side-kick!

"...and 9 months later, you were born."

"Eye ham sofa king we tall did...with my other eye now? Why is she laughing?"