She'll never be as good as her brother though. He can balance five plates at a time.

She's not a contortionist. She's just paralyzed that way and her friends are kind of mean.

You just know all the men looking at this are thinking about oral sex while all the women are judging her outfit.

China: What they lack in freedom they make up for in WTF.

And to think, I'm amazed when American waitresses can carry three coffee cups at once.

We are just one sneeze away from a brutal fatality.

Her parents wanted her to be a lawyer. She wanted to be a disappointment. Guess which one got their wish?

I had no idea nail fungus could get so bad.

No, you fool. It's "left hand, red"!

"Suzy, I'm sorry, I've been a bad host....please, grab a chair, make yourself comfortable."

"Yeah, but the irony is that at home in the bedroom, she not at all flexible on what she will let me do."

Those pizzas look good, but the cook has her head way up her ass today.

"Hey sweety - I think we could get along great. I'm a fungi."

She's got it down to where it takes her boyfriends at least 5 dates to realize she doesn't have a vagina.

Profits rose by 400% when the International House of Pancakes outsourced to China.