With no woman willing to have sex with him, King Midas felt no choice but to take his urges to the farm.

If that's what they put out in the open, I'd hate to see what they think they have to keep under the tarp.

"Take the bull by the horns" was just step 1. You don't want to hear about the other steps.

There once was a bull so crass, his balls were made out of brass. When he knocked them together, they played Stormy Weather, and lightning shot out of his ass. (I'm just curious how many down votes a limerick will get.)

I don't know what the Chicago Bulls are planning, but it's going to be the best half-time show ever.

And then I saw her. Between the bull's leg and testicle, our eyes locked, and it was love at first sight.

I know why they're taking this statue down. It's got a huge crack in it.

"For God's sake honey, you can't compare his to mine. That's like comparing apples and oran...I mean grapes and watermelons."

His legs are kind of short because I ran out of bronze doing the balls.

Tired of the many golden calves running everywhere, they finally decided to get the golden bull fixed.

Having learned exactly the wrong lesson from the mistakes of the past, the citizens of Babylon knew a mere golden calf wouldn't cut it this time around.

It's impossible to write a caption when you're furiously masturbating.

Sure you're smiling now, but just wait until they attach his giant gold penis and jealousy sets in.

Winner of the Golden Globes

Excuse me, do you know where Christine O'Donnell's house is? I've got a special delivery.