And so ended The Civil Engineering War.

They were soon put out of business by the J.W. Booth Equipment Rentals Co.

People are in Washington DC right now wondering why there is a monument to a big empty chair.

In Canada, we'd never do this to our heroes ... because we have none.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Mr. "I-emancipated-the-slaves". You haven't sold a crane in a month, now get out there and shake that ass or I'm replacing you with a wacky-inflatable-waving-arm man

Ironically, he's returned to enslave the whole human race.

...and this is why there was no Lincoln-Douglas slam dunk contest.

"4 stories and 7 years ago...."

The Statue of Liberty was such a nice gesture from the French, that we sort of panicked and gave them this last minute. No one has seen it since.

Attention, Citizens of the Union! Lincoln Cranes Inc. has just declared a "Civil War" on prices!

The Gettysburg address, if entered into your GPS, takes you to a seriously run-down neighborhood.

Five bucks says you have his picture in your wallet.

You know, the hat really DOES make him look taller....

As a final F U to the south, Lincoln also freed the tractors.

Honest Abe's Reconstruction Company.