MARIO KART: THE MOVIE

Grand Theft Retard

Craig knew that if he could only come in first, he would finally get the respect he deserved.

"And I looked, and beheld a blue plastic car: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him."

Win or lose, it was most important to Garth that his mullet avoid damage.

Hell wasn't as bad as the Bible made it out to be.

Tragedy struck when the racers realized that the course empties on to the interstate.

The Fast and the Furious: Playground Pandemonium

Although admired for their originality, there was no denying that this particular chapter of the Hell's Angels was just a little...well, special.

First one down the hill gets their dignity back!

Unfortunately Pixar's 'Cars' failed to live up to the hype.

Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the dogs of war!

Susan would later be disqualified for having a broken headlight.

Neither Fred's car noises nor his awesome hair helped him pass the racer of indeterminant gender ahead of him.

Upon looking at the steamrolling bicycle gang, the French army beat a hasty retreat.