Some serial killers just don't give a fuck.

OK, if a kid gets into THIS van? Let them go. They weren't going to survive anyway.

"If this Van's a Rockin.... GET A CROWBAR AND BREAK ME THE FUCK OUT!"

It recruits Twilight Tweens. And, thankfully, disposes of them.

Some vans sell ice-cream, others sell firewors. Others yet: Nightmares.

Say what you will, but it gets 30 miles per lost soul.

I'm guessing someone's parents "just don't get them".

Sometimes, forcing sex offenders to report their location to the authorities is a bit redundant

He bitterly regrets the matching tattoo.

Hey look, kids! It's the "I scream" truck!

Seriously, I leave unlocked wherever I park, and people don't even try to steal the GPS on my dashboard.

"Our influences include Metallica, Slayer, Sodom, Deicide, Darkthrone and 1st graders' drawings..."

Never leave your car unattended in the Goth part of town.

Ozzie Ozbourne never has trouble remembering where he parked.

Sometimes you just know, without asking, that they don't have any Grey Poupon.