Diary Entry #529: If Randy makes another "Why The Long Face Joke", I'll engulf his soul...

Mom always said there was no future in terrorizing Japanese school girls, so I got a degree in accounting and here I am.

What kind of weirdo wears sunglasses at the office?

Party in the back, soul-crushing cosmic insanity in the front.

Emperor Palpatine's anti-alien policy was very hard on Darth Asparagus.

The weird part is that he's thinking of a funny craption to post about you.

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn? (Have you tried rebooting your computer?)

The Call Center of Cthulhu.

Day 273: No one is yet suspicious of me and my mission to enslave the planet. I think the mullet wig is helping me fit in.

Remember, when you stare into Windows Vista, Windows Vista stares into you.

Dude, we've talked about this before. Tentacles above the table ... all of 'em

"Oh Lolcat, you're so funny...On our planet, you would be burned for ignorance!"

On the internet she's blond, blue-eyed, curvaceous and sexy!

C'thulu Incorporated, where the Elder Gods are at YOUR beck and call! This is F'gtaan, how may I help you?

I've met the troll king of the internet. It was of no surprise to me that his assistant has a mullet.