"So then I told the emperor, 'It's a pretty good wall, but I wouldn't call it GREAT.' Next thing I know, BAM."

With the opium wearing off, Wei found himself with a lot of questions, but no answers.

Life jackets have come a long way since their invention

Obviously a stock photo...

Popped collars, circa 1880

Half an hour later, you'll just want to punish him all over again.

"Listen Lee, if you are going to spy in the ladies bathroom that's fine, but make sure you can get your head out of the hole when they notice you."

"We'll see who's laughing when the flood comes."

Seriously, I just love the way that frames your face.

You shouldn't have googled "In my opinion China sucks only a little bit", man.

Try his Kung P.O.W. chicken.

"This one time, at Chinese labor camp..."

"Good news. You don't have to wear the taco costume anymore. We've changed business platforms... Now we're selling platforms. So welcome to your new costume."

"Imagine the irony! He was hiding under his wanted poster the whole time!"

Welcome to Nike's human resources department